Today, it can be difficult to safely interact with children without causing anyone to have reason to question your actions. Here are a few things that can help ensure the safety of your student and yourself as a mentor.

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1. Meet only in the School’s Approved Space. Never meet alone and isolated with your student. Mentoring should only take place in the appropriate, school-sanctioned spaces that allow other adults and/or students the ability to view your sessions. No closed windowless doors. No isolated off-site meetings.

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2. Only Appropriate Touching. A gentle touch on safe areas (elbow, shoulder, hand, upper back) is appropriate in most situations. Always let the student take the first step with physical contact. Some students have abusive histories that make even these simple touches inappropriate. The same goes for hugging - let the student initiate this and make sure the hugging is done appropriately. No tickling, no piggyback rides keep it pure. If a child climbs up on your lap (which is not appropriate), kindly instruct the child to sit next to you.

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3. Be Open with No Secrets. There should be no secrets between you and your student. If they ask to tell you a secret, you can tell them that they are free to share, but you “aren’t allowed to keep a secret” as their mentor. The impulse to keep a secret can be strong as you wish to build a trusting relationship, but the future repercussions make that a poor choice. You can have a “special” handshake, or a “special” word, or some such thing - but keep it at a fun level.

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4. Gifts. If you wish to give your student a gift, it is important to remember that you don’t want to be perceived in any way as trying to buy your student’s affection. Gifts should be given for a very specific reason and very infrequently. Christmas and birthdays are good examples of when to give a gift to your student. If you do give your student a gift, try to find something meaningful; something that will continue to build your relationship. An example of this would be a game or a book that you could frequently play or read together. If you plan to give your student a gift, please contact Kidz Connected to discuss the situation beforehand. 

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5. Confidentiality.  When parents sign the permission slip to allow their child to participate with Kidz Connected, they are taking a risk. They are allowing a stranger to spend quality time with their child to learn about their child’s life. We must be considerate of this by maintaining a high level of confidentiality. Here are some guidelines to help you keep this in check.

a. Abuse

i. What if a child suggests or discloses abuse?

1. Stay calm. A large or emotional reaction is not helpful and may make the child feel that it is their fault or dirty. Listen to what they have to say. Affirm your care for them, and report your findings (see next bullet point).

ii. Report any suspicion of abuse or neglect to Kidz Connected, the teacher, and/or the principal before leaving the school. If you are at all unsure, please contact Kidz Connected for guidance before leaving the school. Under these circumstances, it is a legal responsibility to take appropriate action. There are trained professionals who will do the work of investigating the validity of what the student shared and they will decide if further action is needed.

b. Notify Kidz Connected of any concerns you have about the student’s physical, emotional, and/or educational well-being.

c. Allow the student to share important information with you. Listen and affirm that you care deeply for them. Try not to share your perceived concerns with the child either verbally or by physical reactions. Do not promise to keep any secrets with them.

d. Discuss with Kidz Connected or the teacher any information that may be confusing.

e. ONLY share non-confidential information with those you care to share with, including your Prayer Buddy. No identifiable information should ever be shared in writing, speech, or social media - including photographs or even the student’s full name.

f. Never contact the student’s parents without Kidz Connected permission.

g. Do not question or press a student on subjects they are reluctant to discuss or have possibly been told not to discuss at school.

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