By Dr. Brad Schwall

 

Children experience grief and need to process their grief – it just may look a little different than adult grief. Your care and attention help in grieving even when you’re not talking specifically about the grief, but talking about sadness and missing someone helps the child work through her or his feelings and learn important skills for life.

 

Keys to Helping Children with Grief

● Young children may not understand the permanence of death.

● Follow the child’s lead when talking about death. Respond to questions with empathy, true and age-appropriate information, and affirmation that he or she is sharing.

● Don’t avoid the subject. It’s important for children to be able to identify and express feelings.

● Every once in a while, check in with your child about her or his feelings and then move on to other topics and activities.

● Sometimes children may not be able to say what they feel, but saying you know they may think about their loved one and feel sad can help the child process the grief internally.

● Avoid saying a child shouldn’t feel a certain way or sharing too much in-depth about your own experiences with grief.

● Take advantage of grief support groups and other support resources.

 

Questions & Activities for a Child Who Has Lost a Loved One

You may want to take some time based on your child’s readiness, openness, and expressiveness to talk intentionally about his or her loss.

● What did you like about _______________________?

● What did you like doing with _______________________?

● Would you be open to drawing a picture of your favorite thing you liked to

● do with _______________________?

● What do you feel sad most about _________________ being gone?

● I wonder how you might feel mad about _____________________ being gone?

● What do you think you could do to help you remember ______________________?

 

Dr. Brad Schwall

KHUSA Child and Family Consultant, South and West Region

Email: DrBrad@coolkidschannel.com Phone: 214.683.6537